This will be my final installment of this blog:
9) Personal Agenda - Now a woman with a life plan is always a good thing. However I want be valued as the man I am, not some factor in an equation. I have met some women that met me, and because I may not be into have children in the next few years, they had a problem with that. I'm saying to myself "Is this broad crazy? Or does it even matter the quality of man she wants if all she wants is kids?" If you have a personal agenda above the relationship, it can't work. Why not just date a man of poor quality? Now that's just one instance. Some ladies have it in their mind that we go out a few times, we are a couple. Seriously, if I'm your man, who's my favorite Voltron pilot? As my woman you should know certain things about my character. Sometimes this can be a smokescreen for just having regular sex, without sleeping with a whole bunch of men. I just don't like to feel like someone who fits a basic mold of being a man & nothing else.
10) Work Ethic - Understand that the first thing a relationship needs besides communication is work. Now your work ethic will determine that. A lot of these relationship shows pander to women, so don't think that you showing your face & smiling is all that is required. Sometimes ladies you gotta take a listen or fall back and let your man be a man. Most men don't communicate honestly, cause you ignore our honesty at times. Now as a couple y'all have to work on that. Relationships are constant work from the start, so don't think cause you have given him some head that your responsibility ends there. Put your hard hat on and grab that shovel. Also exhibit some patience, a man has to learn his woman. The good & the bad.
11) Bold & Confident - Yes some of the misguided might think I'm arrogant. Nah, I'm just extremely confident with what the Lord blessed me with. It didn't start this way, but grew after going through the b.s. & nonsense. Isn't this what the self-help books preach. I know some of y'all thinking "Oh he's not all that." or "He thinks he's cute with all his blogs, he don't know shit." yet here you sit reading. Remember if you don't believe in me, it's cool I believe in myself. So yes I will take time to get my mind & body right, cause I'm a good dude. If you don't see it, or it makes you a little insecure or jealous that's on you. I won't be defined just by my race, size, sex, or any other category you can put me in. I keep myself looking good for my woman, why fall off due to comfort or laziness.
12) Financial Status - Now I like nice things, but I'm not willing to sacrifice one need for two wants. I've noticed some of the women I've dated would spend hundreds on their hair but yet their car is leaking oil. Now yes I have my issues with frivolous spending, particularly when comes to asking me to help "support" it. Remember when I mentioned accountability, you should have it when minding your bills. Don't spend and spend then when ti comes down to something important, you have your hand out. Behavior like this can make our relationship into some "Trick/Ho" relationship. Not trying to do all, ya dig. Also if you are broke how can you get me Marvel VS. Capcom if you got no money in your pockets.
13) Old School Respect - Now I put this rule, cause the respect for the Black Man is at an all-time low. Now before you go ripping the brothers, note I command respect cause I give it. Have you noticed how some black women will allow themselves to be dissed by white men like John Mayer & the like. Yet won't get in their face. Now if I happen to check your ego, don't go off like I shot your dad. Especially don't get in my face like you want to fight. I have never hit a woman, but any man can be pushed to a breaking point. Don't find out mine.
14) Interdependent vs. Independent - Now let me give you the definitions & you tell me which one works better in a relationship:
Interdependent - adjective mutually dependent; depending on each other
Independent - adjective not influenced or controlled by others in matters of opinion,conduct, etc.; thinking or acting for oneself.
rejecting others' aid or support; refusing to be underobligation to others.
Now ladies don't you realize that a relationship is a co-dependent situation. Just cause 2 things occupy a shared space doesn't make it work. If things work better for you being solo, stay solo. This seems to me to be a bit of a selfish motive. In the fact you want to be independent to a point, but then still want a man to "take care" of you. If those responsibilities are taken away, why would a man want to stay. It's not that my ego got in the way, but I feel it's my natural role to be the master of my home. Being truly independent means you need no one which in turn is the opposite of a relationship.
So those are my top reasons. I hope I haven't disillusioned you or lead you astray. If you know me already, you know how honest I am. Some ladies had asked me in the past why we didn't become more. Hopefully this will give you some insight to why. Now all these reasons don't apply to everyone. Sometimes it was distance, situations, or I just didn't want anything at that time. Life is quite funny in the way things work out. I would like to think it was for the better, cause it allows you to read it here. So take time to read & understand where I'm coming from. You don't have to agree just understand.
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