Hey folks what's happening it's been a long time. Too long for most. I think there's a lack of what people need to know when being in a relationship. Especially for folks in very long commitments you need to have the "Hard Conversation". What is the "Hard Conversation"? It's that uncomfortable conversation you have with your mate about who you really are & where you relationship is going to go from this point forward. It's finding out who is the person you are really laying next to.
The conversation may reveal if the person has commitment issues, is sexually confused, might have slept with one of your friends or family members. It becomes very uncomfortable but necessary. It will give you a chance to find out if you and your mate can really work & let out whatever secrets are holding you back. I've known one of my good homies from grade school. He told me he had a difficult conversation with his fiancee. He had told her he loved her & wanted to marry her but wasn't sure if he can be 100% faithful. He had a complete "hard conversation" letting her know his issues & what to expect in their relationship going forward from this point. The few friends his fiancee told about this conversation of course disagreed & showed their ass. Funny thing is though all of them are still single or still "dating".
Please also note that you don't always have to have the "hard conversation" with just your mate. This can also be had between relatives also. Some parents I've seen reveal that their child is adopted or "Daddy" is actually "Step-Daddy". I've known in-laws who have told potential mates about their own children in relationships. Sometimes fellas have conversations with your girl's parents. You might find out you are dating a "hot tamale" or a true to the game thug.
What I learned about the "hard conversation" is it's unique to your relationship & tests if your really can handle your mate in a whole.setting. There are a few rules though before having the "hard convo". Some folks want to play Columbo and they only dating for a 4 months, it takes patience. So here's a few rules you have to abide by before starting this conversation.
1. Take into account that what may be said is somewhat hurtful. This is was an easy thing to talk about you could do it over lunch.
2. LISTEN!!! to the entire conversation before responding. Jumping to conclusions is just bad all around.
3. Take your ego out of it. Oh yes ladies that means you also. Your pride will be totally smashed by the end.
4. Separate what you think you know from what you are being told. No assumptions before hearing everything.
5. Realize this might be the end. Hey who's to say this is the final straw.
6. If you choose to react violently, that person does have the right to press charges. I know it's hard but you gotta be an adult
7. Ask questions relating to the subject & figure out where you exactly stand.
8. After listening take a little time to think. Remember this is your future at stake, no need to rush.
9. Don't have this conversation unless you live with, are married or about to marry. If it's some sidepiece (WTF!!!) Let sleeping dogs lie. If it's not for the long haul shut the hell up.
That's just a few rules I found that worked for me. You can throw this out altogether & just wing it. Just remember chickens have wings yet never leave the ground.
One Love.
