Superhero Girlfriends: Part 1 - Lois Lane Ain't Sh*t

        Well as everyone knows I’m a big comic nut, I’ve kinda always hated Lois Lane. The dynamic between her & Superman aka Clark Kent is a funny one. Lois doesn’t respect Clark Kent due to being a bit socially inept. Now the funny thing is that Clark is pretending to be this inept person to keep his true identity secret. Now what’s funny is that she gives Clark a lot of attitude, & only really respects his mind. So like the rest of the world when Superman comes along her interest is peaked on who he is & why is he able to do the things he does. So if you look at their relationship dynamic, it’s actually a “Groupie/Rapper” relationship. 


       Superman represents something that some women like having, a man that is so unique that he’s a “one of one”. Now what’s funny is that this dynamic backfires if he loses that special “ability”. Case-in-point when Clark gave up his abilities in the movie “Superman 2”. Clark reveals to Lois who he really is & gives up being Superman so they can be together. As they are going out to eat, Clark gets into a fight & loses. Lois gets real slick with her mouth & says “I wish I could be with the man that I fell in love with.” As if she was disgusted cause Clark took a loss. As a boy I was like “Yo, really?” & becoming older I saw this played out in real life. Some guys had money, a car, or a high social status. Everything is cool until something changes & next thing you know their woman is gone with the wind.

             
           Another dynamic is the attention that Superman gets from other “elite” folks. Remember even actresses, models, & other meta-humans are in competition with Lois Lane. Clark’s first love Lana Lang is a dime & actually knew all about Clark. So Lois has to be on her best game, cause Clark has options. Some of the ladies only want Superman cause he’s a meta-human, so is their intent genuine? Probably not, but Lois still has to keep herself on point.

       
          Also what’s quite interesting is that Lois Lane hates having to share Superman with the world. Now remember he’s a superhero, so his responsibility is to the world & particularly Metropolis. Therefore a few dates, movies, & even sex will be ruined by a sudden emergency. Can it become frustrating yes, but remember this is what you wanted. There’s always a trade off when you get with someone who is in the limelight. You have to accept the pros & cons of a relationship. Apparently Lois hasn’t, but hopefully in recent years she has learned her role in the relationship.

   So what have we learned, let’s look at the facts:
 1. Know if you have a “Groupie/Rapper” dynamic.

 2. What is their true motivation to being in a relationship with you? Is it due to having something special or being able to do something for them.

 3. Accept and deal with the benefits & consequences of your relationship.

 4. Know that things may not change in the immediate future or at all.

 5. There are others out there who will be with your mate at the drop of hat, So keep yourself on point.

 6. Be mindful of what your mate does & that this makes them the person you are in “love” with.

 The next chapter of Superhero Girlfriends: Part 2 - Betty Banner Down Ass Chick or Victim Of Abuse?

R&B Is Going To Get Your @$$ Kicked

I come from a time where R&B was music for couples. Around the 90’s though some things started to change. Unfortunately I feel the change wasn’t good. Particularly in the “female pandering” aspect of the music. It might be due to the feminist movement of the late 80s & 90’s in entertainment, hip-hop taking over the male music listener (particularly for young black males), or creation of sex symbols with no actual talent. R&B in a lot of ways has really fell off, particularly in the creation of good quality subject matter. Now I don’t mean all of the music is bad. There are a lot of good artists & songs. This blog is about the songs that are just not needed in R&B. If you know anyone in these so-called “love situations” your relationship is truly in trouble.

In no particular order:

1. Like A Boy - Ciara/What If A Woman - Joe So this man has hurt you so much that you wish you could switch roles. Now let’s say you do. Ladies let’s not act like y’all are always sitting at home alone. At what point is a relationship truly over. I respect the loyalty but then why not get out of the relationship. Sometimes people don’t change or that’s not the person for you. If I’ve driven you crazy to the point I would want to change my sex just to show you how I feel, let it go


2. Maybe I Deserve - Tank This sucker @$$ nigg@ here pissed me off. First off, are you really feeling remorseful cause it’s true or cause you got caught. This admission of you cheating is only to ease your guilt. Let’s really look at it this way, what if he didn’t get caught? Is a man truly sorry for a crime he will never get caught for? F*ck No!!!

3. Beyonce - Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It) How many single women you know that love this song? Let’s cut this dumb sh*t right now. Here’s the chorus: Cause if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it Don’t be mad once you see that he want it If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it Bitch please, if I like you I put a date on it. You talking like that out of the gate insures you that you will still be a single lady. Do men want to get married yes, just not on the dance floor. Stop thinking that if you hold the coochie for hostage we will give into demands. Any man that has, eventually realizes it wasn’t that special to begin with.


4. Babyface - Soon As I Get Home This is one of the songs that started this crazy trend of “woman pandering”. Here’s the chorus: I give good love I’ll buy your clothes I’ll cook your dinner too Soon as I get home from work I’ll pay your rent Your faithful lover Soon as I get home, soon as I get home from work Girl, I’ll treat you right And I’ll never lie For all that it’s worth I give good love (good love, good love, good love, good love) So he’s got all this time to do this & go to work. GTFOH!!! If you also look at the way it’s structured, this is more of a proposition than courting. He sounds like a car salesman. Also he said “I’ll Never LIE” that’s a lie in itself. A man who hasn’t lied to a woman, isn’t being real. Not a deceptive lie, but to save a woman’s self-esteem you have. Sucker @$$ motherf*cker (Please note the woman Babyface was married to when he wrote this is now with Eddie Murphy, PAYBACK!!)

5, TLC - Scrubs The funny thing is I had liked this group up til then. I didn’t take the song personal, but they through a lot of regular dudes under the bus. What’s funny is that in interviews they said “We aren’t talking about all men” trying to clean it up, but yet it wasn’t included in the song lyrics. To me this was ammo for chicken heads who don’t have their life together to talk a whole bunch of garbage about men. Shoutout to the Sporty Thieves for making No Pigeons as a response to No Scrubs.

6. Trey Songz - Can’t Help But Wait This dude here is actually a stalker. Ladies I know some of y’all like to keep a stalker around for your ego. Now if you are unhappy in your relationship, you should not confide in a man that is trying to bone you. He clearly doesn’t care that you are in one, but he will “wait”. What single man you know is waiting for a woman to get out of her relationship. Now if I’m the boyfriend of this young lady, yeah there’s going to be some furniture-moving & dish throwing. It’s disrespectful to even associate with this man, knowing his intent.


   Yeah you play these songs & I see trouble on the horizon for your relationship. Thees situations are of course exaggerated. However we shouldn’t encourage it either. There are tons more in all genres, but particularly for R&B it’s about love & relationships. So let’s actually talk about love & relationships.