The Popeye Complex

Now for the folks that get lost by the title, this will not be about Popeye The Sailor.  However we will talk about how his mythology plays in real life.  If you aren't familiar Popeye The Sailor is a fictional character that draws power from the vegetable, spinach. When he ingests spinach, he gets the ability to do superhuman feats.  He usually has to depend on spinach because his longtime girlfriend Olive Oyl, usually flirts with his equally longtime nemesis Bluto.  The funny thing is that usually Bluto will "beat the breaks" off Popeye until that can of spinach comes out of his shirt.  After that, it's no contest.  It's as

he's a whole different person.  So you have to ask, where was this strength before the spinach?

Now you are asking, how does this relate to real life & is this a rant about Olive Oyl being reckless?  The thing is that a lot of people suffer from a condition called "The Popeye Complex".  I will illustrate some forms of  this condition that you might fail to notice or just never thought that deep about. Trust me you will sit back after reading this & say "Yo, I know someone like that!!!" 

So let's examine the first instance of this condition.  This would be the dependence on physicality.  How many times have you met a male or female that lived their life totally on looks?  If they didn't have the latest clothes, their hair was a little off, or they just gained a little weight.  Next thing you know their attitude was gone. or they lost their confidence to the point you didn't know recognize them.  This is illustrated with a lot of reality television celebs. The sad part is with folks like this who fall victim to settling for someone who still reveres them like they are top notch.  That insecurity forces them to find a person they feel that gives them their old confidence.  I've seen this firsthand & it's sad, cause if their spouse gets their own confidence they would leave that situation.  If you find yourself in a situation like that, find the confidence in yourself to leave. Life is too short to be someone's "ego amplifier". You are more valuable to someone who truly respects you.

The second instance is a classic that we have all seen, dependence on financial status.  This is instance is also quite common in everyday circles.  Now you may think I'm only talking about the very wealthy, professional athletes, or big celebrities (i.e. rappers, actors), but it goes on commonplace with a lot of blue collar work as well.  How many times do you see the cute chick on the train or bus talking to the conductor or bus driver,  You think that was by accident or that he or she has game like that, nah their occupation allows for "job groupies".  Now some folks know they have benefits & good money coming in (especially in a recession) where they can dictate certain things within a relationship.  So they seem way more confident until they lose that job, or face off financially with someone who is the same tax bracket or is above .  Kevin Hart illustrated this beautifully in his bit about hanging with Dwyane Wade & Mekhi Phifer.  He thought his money was real big until he hangs with them.  It's a blow to his ego that their are some folks who make your money look like small change.  If you are dating a "job groupie" and she sees this, it might cause issues in your relationship.  It's a definitive ego check, that can either make that person want to get more money, or find someone that thinks their lifestyle is superior.  If that's the only reason why you even feel good about yourself, it's pretty shallow.  At some point the money stops, then what.  We have heard about folks who couldn't accept the fact they were going to lose their lifestyle & BANG!!! Dead on the doorstep.  You can't take it with you.

The third instance is another classic, particularly in the "hood".  Which is narcotic/intoxication confidence.  This is usually when someone gets drunk or high & all of a sudden has the ability to speak their mind without any fear.  Remember drugs just release your inhibitions, so where as when you take a risk you feel less guilty about it.   How many times have you either seen or been in an argument with someone that ends up bad & the next day you hear "I was drunk, my bad" or "I was high as shit".  It's just a passive-aggressive way to relay their real feelings.  Ladies if a man feels you up & claims he was drunk, he's been trying to sleep with you for the longest.  Fellas, if a chick tells you that "You can get it" but acts drunk, she's telling you that sober you can hit that.  If you expose this a lot of folks just run away or try to deny their feelings or use it as a gateway to talk about how they feel.  I don't trust folks like that, cause if it was that important you could say something.  I can't trust that as being honest cause you had to be on something to speak you mind.  That's a big liability in my book. 

The final instance is what I call item dependency.  This is where a particular item (i.e. spinach, car, social status, saying "Shazam") gives a person confidence.  This is usually refers to folks who have a particular object that brings some type attention. This can bring about attention but then be determent to them as well.  You have a pair of kicks that everyone wants but don't have the means to defend yourself from folks that want them.  I've seen guys scheme on dudes for their girlfriends, which to me is a form of stalking.  It's kind of sad actually.  When they lose that item, they are a shell of themselves.  Always remember only the soul is eternal, everything else is temporary. After a while you are just a slave to whatever you treasure & no longer enjoy having that item.

Take a look at friends or family.  You will see that some have issues until they take their "spinach" & then they become someone else.  You have to ask them & yourself "What are you running from?" & "Who are you, really?"  I know I will look in the mirror & do so.