My greatest relationship to date has actually been a long distance relationship. I will admit it was never easy from the start. I have to say the long distance taught me patience & how to value someone. Look at the character and not just the T&A. For all the craziness in both of our lives, we tried to be consistent in our support of one another. For those that wonder did we argue, of course. What couple you know doesn't, but I learned a lot. Our bond went deep.
We met via the internet when "catfishing" was as common as folks sending you e-mail chains about Coca-Cola & Microsoft. I'm guessing we connected on a level that at the time was unknown to me. After talking through the summer of '99 (if I'm correct) we met in the winter. Her family was concerned that I was a serial killer who might have her tied up in a basement. Remember this is pre-Facebook & account verification. Also do remember Windows got hacked like everyday. So we met & it got even deeper, I wasn't mature enough to handle her love at that time, I must admit. I'm guessing it was fear of commitment but we stayed at it. Did I stray from our union, I did. Wasn't due to anything but lust. Of course she was devastated, we worked through it but I know it was never the same after that. We had to acknowledge the "elephant in the room", which was the distance. She visited me several times, but I didn't visit her. Why do you ask? Cause I was scared & my finances were so jacked. Fast forward to about 2004 we broke up. We was just in a different place by then & I was hurt. But that was for the best, I dated & so did she. I had reached out to her during a natural disaster in 2005 to make sure her & her family were okay.
We reconnected in 2010 after growth on before of our parts. A lot had changed in that time, neither of us had kids. But as far as relationship experience we grew tremendously. She had been involved & so had I. (That relationship was a train wreck, but it made me appreciate what I did have before.) We decided to try again, but with more effort this time. Folks had asked "When y'all getting married? Or "When you moving, D?" I made sure to put in a better effort this time, visited her & her fam. For a long time her family thought I was made up. We were closer than ever, but our goals were very different. She was in school, I work working & working on a career in entertainment. We also loved our home cities & the lives we had built in them.
I know for me, my relationship was going in 2 different directions. I had wondered with the the life I live & want to lead did it scare her off? It was a long distance relationship, so it's often wondered by others if she found someone else. I don't think so cause she's particular about the men she dates. So if there was a new dude, he's just fucking spectacular. I'm not touting myself as the "shit" but I'm a good dude. Far from perfect but good nonetheless. Distance is very taxing on a relationship, but it also forces you to focus on what you actually have in common. Imagine if sex isn't on the table in your relationship, changes how you view that person immensely. Now you must figure is this person really worth it or if it's something you can't handle. It forced focus from me about my role as a man in a relationship. Be aware this takes a lot of focus & finance to pull off. (Remember gas nor flights are cheap) Just be willing to put in the work.
After we came to an understanding, I think it made up better friends. We always were & have been friends who loved each other. So it makes it very important to my growth as a man. Do we still love & care for each other, greatly. Just right now we are in two different places literally & figuratively. There may be a scenario were we do become one, & then we may not. Who knows..
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