Men Who Are Intimidated By Women

         A homegirl wanted me to touch on this subject.  At times some men can be intimidated by a woman.  It's not really the woman though, it's what she represents.  I like many men get "butterflies" when either starting a new venture, job, or any big endeavor.  Therefore it's about a man not truly being confident within himself.  Some women try to be intimidating because they know the man isn't as confident as they are.  So you have a clash of egos. This begs the question, why isn't a man confident in himself?  Well there are so many reasons let's look at some of them.

        The first could be that he's not where he wants to be in life.  Hey I'm 35 unfortunately some things I haven't done in my life yet that I should.  Times in the past I would feel real bad about my lack of life experience,   However some experiences are overrated, some things you just miss.  It doesn't mean he's not an adult, he's just coming into things real late.  Some ladies see it as fear, therefore you see women suggesting that the man change up overnight.  Some guys end up hostage relationships if they pursue women like that cause they feel if doing something risky but "grown" will alleviate their issues.  It usually backfires like when a guy moves out of his parents house cause of his age, but never really had a serious plan to.  So he either ends up moving in with his woman but doesn't know enough about her.  At first things are real cool, she's cooking & just happy to have you there.  However if she's not satisfied in the pace of the relationship, you might need to look for a place to live or call momma-do and ask for that room back.  The lack of confidence can allow other folks to shape who they think you should be.  Bad situations happen it's how you handle it that makes character in a man.


          Another is the fact he hasn't really matured,  Maturation isn't based on what you possess.  I know immature dudes with nice cars & good jobs.  Doesn't mean they are a grown-up.  A lot of times possession of materials deems some sort of confidence,  That's only cause maybe other male peers are lacking at that particular time.  Like here in NYC having a car is a luxury.  So even a Toyota Corolla can get you play on a cold winter's night (especially if she's a car whore).  Then you see the guy with the new Range Rover pull up, now the man with the Corolla all of a sudden feels inadequate.  Why?  I touch on that in my blog "The Popeye Complex" about having confidence only when in possession of something.of value.  So if they feel somewhat embarrassed they might not talk to a woman.  Even though the woman could care less what a man is driving.


           I've also learned that some of the men that are intimidated are the guys who lack good character.  Have you ever seen the "super thug" with the real square girlfriend.  They try to hide who they truly are around her.  So there's a whole lack of honesty in the relationship.  Sometimes it's the "nice guy" with the bitch girlfriend too.  She's so fucked up that he hates bringing her around but feels he can't do any better, going back to the source of his confidence.  Which is, his relationship so now he's allowing her to intimidate him out of fear.  So   he becomes intimidated out of fear.  And that begins the end of his relationship cause if his woman knows it's his downfall.


            You also have the momma's boys.  If they have had an overbearing parent particularly a mom.  They can make a man feel inadequate when he becomes a man.  Either second-guessing their choices or coddling them to the point where they can't experience failure for themselves.  Sometimes the son was the mother's surrogate "boyfriend" so he doesn't know to break off that relationship from his mom. Why?  Cause his mother is an intimidating woman, so he looks for that same strong personality trait in his women.


          Some men are intimidated cause of past bad relationships, so it's scarred them.  Sometimes men over-think & believe the woman they are dealing with is like their ex.  Maybe they have some similar character traits.  A man like that has to get through his heartache. Usually the 2nd relationship was a rebound relationship so there are unresolved feelings.  A woman will know cause he reflects a lot about the old relationship.  Avoid that man all day.


 Now on the flip-side, there are women who try to be intimidating on purpose.  If you aren't confident with who you are you can see it from afar.  If not here are some types to be aware or beware of:

The New Wave Feminist - She's either fresh from a women's lib class or read a few feminism books so she thinks she's a NOW advocate. There might be some daddy issues there, so they try to give you  anger left over from that class they took.  Just remind them they are not Susan B. Anthony.

The "I'm Too Smart For You" - Ever met a young lady who though she was a genius.  She's using her brain to dictate the relationship,  Most of their info is from self-help books or a lot of Oprah & Dr. Phil.  So now big words are thrown around to confuse you.  This doesn't imply true intelligence, just the fact that she read a dictionary.  Sometimes the intellect is used to mask other shortcomings.

The "I Can Do Better By Myself" - Word you that ill, if that's the case why are we on a date?  She's doing so well that all men don't measure up.  Usually this is some delusion & the real problem is they actually don't know what they want.  Rather than asking what can work, they focus on what doesn't work for them.  Relationships are 2-way streets COOPERATION is the key.  Until she lets that anger go, you can't really do anything for her to help. BOUNCE!!!!

The "Wannabe Dime" - The female who is okay-looking, she looks like a low-grade Halle Berry.  In the hood they have men trying to get their attention. So with some nervous men find this intimidating cause she has options. Fellas remember all women have options even the ugly ones.  Thirsty men are in-style so even the girl with the missing teeth & big butt can feel like a winner.

The "Testosterone Fiend" - Ever met a lady who tried to out "man" the man.  The hyper-aggresive, talk with your hands, extra dude sounding female can come across intimidating.  A lot of them are in the "hood" but are even in business such as Yandy Smith from Vh1's Love & Hip-Hop.  Real loud to the point you either gotta talk over them or put that Chris Brown right on em. "Oh you tryin' to help Ike?" ***SMACK***  The aggression isn't needed, cause the man will step to you anyway.  This type tells me some things happened in their childhood that deemed they needed more control in their life.

So ladies if you are running into intimidated men, ask yourself what kind of energy am I putting out?  Am I dating down?  You have to figure if you really want a man who's really confident or just comfortable?  You could be one of the types I've noted above & those issues are keeping you from rising. Figure it out.